9ft isn't big enough to bother a typical adult human. It's probably gone looking for a nice chilled spot in the unusual temperatures. My Sister's mate in Holland agreed to take a 12ft boa from someone leaving the country. It got out a couple of times. The second time it was arrested for reasons of inconveniencing the owner. It got quite a bit larger still until one day it simply refused to coil up or move. Wouldn't eat, nothing. They called a vet. Vet said it was time for it to go to a zoo or specialist. When asked why the vet replied "It's sizing you up for a meal." it duly went. Jake the snake's fate is unknown.
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A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things. Finally, the subject of sex comes up. "Just how do you guys do it?" asked the Earthling. "Pretty much the way you do," responded the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. The female Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weeny member; very short and very narrow. "What can you do with THAT!?" exclaims the woman. "Why?" he asked, "What's the matter?" "Well," she replied, "it's nowhere near long enough. It'll never reach!" "No problem," he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grew until it was quite impressively long. "Well," she said. "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow." "No problem," he said again and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together. As they walked along the Earthling male said, "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," she said, "but it was really wonderful. How about you?" "Well," he said, "It was the fucking weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all night."